Maybe I'm not due, but with my new mantra, outlook on life, and the pursuit of adventure, I figure I should somehow document it. Not knowing where this exactly will lead, well...ain't that the beauty of it? I should start off by fully explaining what this semi-refreshed, quick shower because you woke up late, outlook on life I have is...
It starts, as usual, with a catalyst--an explosion that triggers multiple objects to collide in a matter befitting a science project. And hey, maybe I got a C in Science. The Teacher/Universe was tough, but fair. This catalyst, however, was a heartbreak. Now, before you automatically start thinking "What...a...widdle...girl," give me a chance to explain. I am of the school of thought that one should have his/her heart broken every once in awhile. Not necessarily in the traditional sense (Boy meets Girl, Girl meets Boy, Dullness ensues, Girl/Boy creates anti-dullness aka "drama" which causes Boy and Girl to split), but heart break caused by a single, or several, tumultuous event(s) which shake the individual--to the bone. Now, while I didn't expect or hope for this heart break, I still believe it creates balance. It levels an individual. It's good for the heart. One needs to know that the extraordinary feeling of pure ache and anguish and torment is there. That sounds incredibly masochistic, but with all of the horrific atrocities that occur outside of the U.S. and in, how could you not feel like that sometimes? Heart break lets us know that our hearts haven't become cold, hard, and callous.
Did you notice how I said "event(s)?" "Several." You'd be right to assume that my heart break was generated by no fewer than 4 such event(s). I'll skip the details, but I'll give bulleted examples of said H.B(Heart Break):
- Boy meets Girl (not at all the example I gave above, but one that I would rather not delve into unless lying on a burgundy couch with buttons while talking to a shrink)
- Boy meets Mom's hospital room for first (mine not hers) multi-overnight stay
- Boy meets Stability
- Boy meets...not the world
Stupid event(s).
Now where was I? (The one thing I love about writing is that wonderful thing called a "Stream of consciousness." I love it.
Ok, catalyst, epiphany, era of enlightenment. What transpired after the H.B. was the idea of taking a break without a break. What? Crazy backwards talk? Ryan, you are a silly bitch. What I mean is that my focuses will have shifted to enlightening my cliched mind, body, and spirit. And I mean exactly that. I'm sharpening my wits by reading more and more books. I'm sharpening my body by beating the hell out of it at the gym while eating more healthily than I ever have. I'm sharpening my spirit by...well, I haven't exactly figured that out just yet. I'm hoping the mind and spirit venn diagram and make a cool tear drop type center.
You'll notice, future self, that my writing changes from time to time. This, I attribute, to the day's activities as well as the mood I am in. Typically, at the end of a good day, you'll get a very fluid dull wit typed. This is rare. Hopefully you'll get more than that, and hopefully I won't rant.
I'll probably rant.
Peace, Love, and Salt & Vinegar Chips,
Ryan
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